I found this list on Tumblr and just had to share.
I hope to participate in all of these shenanigans this year. Can you imagine how fun number 17 would be? Or the look on people’s faces when you pull off number 18?
Life is short, and it damn well be fun!
- At lunch time, sit in the parking lot with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars; see if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask, “Would you like fries with that?”
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it, “in”.
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors”.
- Finish all your sentences with, “in accordance to prophecy.”
- Don’t use any punctuation.
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Ask people what sex they are and laugh hysterically when they answer.
- Specify that your drive through order is to-go.
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
- Put mosquito netting up and play tropical sounds all day.
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t go to their party because you’re not in the mood.
- Have your co-workers address you by your wresting name, Rock Hard.
- When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, “I won, I won!”
- When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot yelling, “Run for your lives, they’re loose!”
- Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we’re going to have to let one of you go.”